14 Dubai trends that need to end

1. Sunglasses indoors, or at night

Unless you're Tom Cruise, back in Dubai to film Mission Impossible 7 or whatever, or blind, this is not socially acceptable. You are not cool, you are a douchebag.
What an idiot.

2. Too much neon

I'm sorry, we're stuck in too much traffic already, we don't need another traffic light in this city. Please stop blinding us, or we might have to wear sunglasses indoors and you wouldn't want us to be douchebags now, would you?

Cute in small doses. Just pick ONE. Not all of them!

3. Color blocking the wrong way 

You look like you dressed in the dark (or were you wearing your sunnies indoors again? See number 1, this no sunnies indoors rule really needs to sink in, I think.)

Yeah...Not a fan.

4. Too much animal print 

Did you look at your leopard print dress and go "I know what would go well with this! Leopard print shoes!" Um... no. "...Zebra print shoes?" NO! Is your name Snooki?

So attractive.

5. Blackberry pins on the back of cars

We were not going to add you before, and we definitely aren't going to do it now.
Saudi number plate, but it still applies.

6. Any sort of visible underwear 

There's this wonderful invention known as Spanx. Try eBay. Or just wear black pants and stop horrifying us all with your see-through chinos. Wearing a white thong or a black thong doesn't work either. Try nude OR JUST WEAR DIFFERENT PANTS.
Spanx saves lives.

7. Leggings as pants

See number 6.


8. Ed Hardy

I don't even think I need to elaborate.


9. Parrot green, orange, yellow or any Karama-type skinny jeans on guys (who I like to call - The Hamoodis.)

10. Heels you can't walk in 

Clumping around like Quasimodo is not sexy.
I'd probably laugh until I pass out, then I'd help her up and ask her for her autograph (That's Lady Gaga. Tsk tsk, wearing shades at night... no wonder she fell.)

11. Label love

Okay, we get it, you have a Louis Vuitton bag, you love your Starbucks coffee enough to post 50 pictures on Instagram. However, if you're flaunting 10 different extremely visible labels at a time, what you intend to look expensive and classy, instead you come of as trashy and attention seeking.
I'm just casually drinking my Starbucks coffee with my LV wallet, Ray Bans and Michael Kors watch. So natural.

12. Playing music on loudspeaker from your cellphone 

What? You can afford the smartphone but aren't smart enough to buy headphones? Again, something Karama hamoodis do often.
She looks so happy listening to music on her headphones, and SO CAN YOU!

13. Blackberries

Worst. Phone. Ever. Can we all just collectively boycott Blackberry together?
Wallah, this phone sucks, yakhi!

14. This is a trend I notice a lot on Twitter. #Dubai #swag #toomanyhashtags.

Isn't that annoying? Stop abusing hashtags on Twitter, and in real life. Also, stop saying swag, or writing swag, or thinking swag. Also, stop with the YOLOS. #IMSICKOFYOURSTUPIDITY

Sigh, I'm so glad I got that off my chest. Do you guys have any annoying trends that need to end? Tweet me, Facebook me or write me a comment.

PS- I've violated atleast 3 of these (the shame). Guess which ones!

15 comments

  1. One thing I noticed about Dubai is that a lot of people try too hard. There must be something in the water. :-p

    I despise 11 the most and those condescending social butterflies who believe they are better than everyone because they happen to own a Birkin or a Louboutin. Bitch please?!

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    1. I don't know what it is but money doesn't really buy style (although, you could buy a stylist...)

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  2. I think your take on the dark glasses is not completelt accurate. I happen to know a group of individuals including myself who suffer from mild cases of Retinitis pigmentosa. We happen to use sun glasses at night to help us exist in society and see better. I think a little more sensitivity to even unknown issues of others would go a long way before comments like the top most as posted. I am sure you didnt mean harm...but a bit of thinking wouldnt have hurt.

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    1. Hi James, I totally didn't mean people who have medical conditions. If you were wearing shades at night, I would probably ask you why first before I pass judgement. I was talking about the wide majority of Dubai clubgoers and mall walkers who decide to where shades when it's completely unnecessary.

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    2. Thanks! I think you have highlighted a number of truths about Dxb society in general. I have even seen some cases where random men walk parts of Satwa & Jumeirah with a Fresh Lamb! its shocking the things one can come across here.

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    3. During Eid? Yeah, that's pretty common. Other times? I'm not sure...

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  3. This was so much fun to read! I forgot how annoying most of it really is lol

    I can never get men who prefer skinny jeans over the regular 'man jeans' (I made that up, lame)! I myself have trouble finding a pair that fits just right (I'm bowlegged!). The Hamoodis I'm guessing are on a mission to be Lady Gaga's next back up dancers.

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    1. LOL I'm not a huge fan of skinnies myself, I prefer leggings. I'm so glad guys here don't bother with those...

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    2. I've observed that in Europe, men's jeans/trousers are always a better fit than in the Middle East but then again European men also have better style to get away with it.

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  4. I can't believe I missed reading a gem of a post. LOL! Loved it and ever so accurate.

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  5. Most people in Dubai are patently uncool. People drawn to a city by shiny stuff are by definition not cool. If you're not cool then you overcompensate. Dubai is like a convention for wannabes 365 days a year.

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  6. FUCK YOU WHORE

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